the case of the third party

This is an old blog I've posted on my multiply months ago but still feel strongly about until now. Some would say that cheating has a lot gray areas but for me, it's all in black and white.

I’ve always been intrigued with the third party, may it be in a marriage or just in a boy friend-girlfriend relationship. The third party a.k.a. the other woman a.k.a. kabit, querida, mang-aagaw, malandi.

We’ve always heard the side of the girl who was hoodwinked with men and their cheating hearts. Never the side of the other woman. Apparently, they also got hurt in the process. Ha, what a laugh! (I have this idea that they’re just pure evil. ) They invested their emotions and time to men who they knew (from very the beginning) are attached. So are men to blame? I think in situations like these, it’s not just the men who should get the blame; the other women also get the same amount of blame. They put themselves in the middle of the whole crap. (Oh, I’m not letting men off the hook here. No, oh, no!)

Seriously though, I want to get into the mind of “the other woman”. I want to find out what could have driven her to ruin a relationship. What the heck was she thinking when she decided to get herself tangled in the whole mess. Does she have low self-esteem, and making another girl miserable was an avenue for her to feel good about herself? Is she even aware of the pain she is causing, or the pain that she can inflict on herself? Is it pure selfishness? Is she not a big believer of karma? Or a big believer of the adage, “If he can cheat with you, he will cheat on you?” How could she sleep at night? And lastly, doesn’t she have any friends who would put some iota sense in her head and give her a definition of what’s right and what’s wrong. Yeah, we’ve heard the maxim that in love there’s no right and wrong. But I think that when a wife or a girlfriend is involved, there is a boundary of right and wrong.

I remember that episode in Sex and the City series where Charlotte found out that Carrie is cheating with Big, while he is still married to Natasha. Carrie was reasoning out with Charlotte that she is not that kind of woman (the sl*t who is ruining a marriage).

Charlotte: Do you ever think about how she’d (Natasha) feel if she found out?

Carrie: I think about it all the time.

Charlotte: No, you don’t! You think about what would happen to you, not about her. To you, she’s just the idiot wife. You don’t know anything about her. I’m getting married in two weeks. How would you feel if someone did this to me?

I wish there could be more Charlotte in this world. Then maybe, there would be less cheating. And we wouldn't have to rant about situations like these. Tsk tsk.