How do I get there?

When '09 started, I claimed that this will be an awesome year for me. That it will be MY year...Well, it didn't go as I wanted it to be. In fact, this is the worst year of my life.

My relationship with my (then) boyfriend of seven friggin years went downhill just when the year was starting. I went to a phase of depression which I tried to hide and forget with pigging out, drinking and spending! It lasted for a few months and even now that (I think) I'm over that phase, it still resurfaces every now and then. When I was pretty much back on my feet, I decided to concentrate on work, which isn't very easy as there are so many office issues. I like my job, I like the industry I'm in but I wasn't getting the results I expected to get. I hate mediocrity, but that's basically the perfect word for my career. My finances is hot 'n cold. For some unknown reasons, money seems to pass by my hands in seconds. I have no idea where it goes. So needless to say that I'm not richer than I was in '08.

I seem to be always in want of something I don't know. I know I can do better than where I am right now, I just don't how to start getting to that "better" place. The song, Gotta Be More to Life, is the soundtrack of my year.

The year is about to end. Most who are in the same boat as I are probably relieved that this year is ending but I'm not. I used to love hearing Christmas songs but now I cringe when I hear one. And I hear them everywhere nowadays! Christmas for me means the end of year. And I just don't want it to come yet as nothing spectacular have happened yet. I don't want this year to end as it is. I keep praying and wishing that 2009 won't go down in history as annus horribilis. It just can't!

I am literally in a gutter. I look at the stars and I tell myself that's where I want to be. The question is, how do I get there?

Make your imprint!

Is it just me, or does anyone else think that the 2010 election is the catalyst that will bring about the change that this country needs? I think that Filipinos have had enough of the past (present included) administrations crappy-ness and everyone is closely watching the candidates for next year's election.

If you haven't registered yet, you have three weeks to do so. Before opening your mouth to pinpoint the wrong doings of the government, make sure that you do your part as well. The first step to that is to register. It doesn't matter if you don't know who to vote yet, because trust me, (almost) everyone haven't really decided yet. And don't give me BS bout your vote being useless because people with power who will eventually find a way to cheat the results. Listen, apathy is this nation's worst enemy.

Check the Comelec website if you don't know where to register. I registred last month, and it only took me less than an hour. So, get your butt moving and practice your right! Make thatimprint because YOU can make that change!

A wake up call in the form of a catastrophe

I have never been this affected with a flood because I've never known anyone who was affected by a flood...until now. Some of my friends' houses were flooded, two of them lost (almost) everything they have, another friend's husband has been stranded in their roof for hours. I used to watch in the news people in provinces who were greatly devastated by a storm and I'm ashamed to admit that I never gave too much thought in their situations. You would think that such situations are remote until it happens to people you care. It was indeed a humbling experience, and more so, an eye opener. I wanted to do more than just sit and watch the heartbreaking conditions of our kababayan.

"There is no such thing as unselfish good deeds." -Joey Tribbiani

I volunteered with a few friends in Sagip Kapamilya last Sunday. We wanted to be deployed in Marikina or any areas affected by the flood, but when we got there they have had enough volunteers for deployment and not enough trucks. So we stayed in the warehouse instead and helped in carrying stuffs. It was overwhelming to see so much donations from corporations and private people. And to see the willing hands doing their share, however small it may seem, to help those that were affected by Ondoy.

As we all know millions of pesos are coming in from different corporations and private entities to foundations for the rescue operations and relief goods.( And I think these people have more trust giving their donations to private organizations and foundations than to the government.) I think its great when Tina Monzod-Palma said that the donations are not just going to relief goods but also to projects that are to help typhoon victims get back on their feet. Because even after the water has gone down and the mud cleared, way after the houses has been cleaned it will take a long time for the victims to recover from these ordeal. There is trauma in each and everyone, houses to be rebuilt, lives to mourn for. So I sincerely hope that these millions of pesos given to private foundations and the government (especially, those that were given to the government) will be really used for the victims. I hope they will be used to aid the victims get a hold of their lives again.

I also hope that this will not just be a nightmare that will soon be forgotten. I hope this will be a wake up call to the government. 19 boats?? That's all they have. Instead of spending money so their faces will be in the television, NDCC could have used the money to buy boats, trucks, or whatever equipment needed for disasters like there. Yes, no one expected Ondoy to cause this much disaster. But that's why the agency was created. So there would be immediate help when calamity strikes. And don't give us crap about not having enough budget. I could feel the blood going up to my face again, and I know there's no point in blaming because the damage has been done but I just can't help but to do so. One of our trademarks is our resilience to whatever storm that comes along, but that doesn't give (government agencies) to overlook their responsibilities. I hope that the government officials will at least feel a bit more guilty in stealing the people's money this time. I hope they would think twice before buying houses worth millions in US. I hope they will spend less when they travel abroad. I hope they realize how their constituents are suffering while they swim in their ill-gotten wealth.

And I hope that this will also be a wake-up call to each and everyone of us. It doesn't take a genius to point out that this is due to climate change and that something like this MIGHT happen again (although I hope not). So I hope we do our share in saving Mother Earth. Plant a tree, switch off lights when not used, use reusable bags in doing our groceries, clean up, throw trash in garbage cans and not in the streets, etc. I hope that it doesn't take another typhoon for us to wake up, get out of our comfort zones and do our share.

(Noticed that I used the word "hope" too much? Well, that's there's left to do. Hope)

Pictures are not mine. I downloaded them from various websites in the net.

Why I'm skeptic on Noynoy's candidacy?

Because I think that he could easily be manipulated. Lets be honest, before Cory Aquino died, Noynoy doesn't have any plans of running for presidency. Having a great leader as a parent (and by that I meant Ninoy, and not Cory) doesn't guarantee that Noynoy will also be a great president. It was just a plot of the liberal party. Their desperate move to put their candidate to the highest office. And "sacrificing" presidency doesn't make Mar a better man. He used to talk a lot about his plans and his desire to serve the country, spent a lot on advertising, planned his wedding near the elections and then suddenly he revoked his candidacy. That move just made him appear ficke-minded and the little trust that the liberal party has on him My friends and I have guessed that something like this will happen after Cory's death, I just didn't expect Noynoy to push through with it. He could be a great leader, but I think he isn't ready yet.

But if he do wins, I hope I'm wrong.

I'm no expert on politics, most of my opinions are juvenile. But then again, it's MY opinion.

alcohol talking

ever had that moment when you wake up with a terrible hangover and vow never to drink again?

but then you're handed a glass of tequila and before you know it you're jumping up and down. Waking up with a terrible headache and barely remembering what happened. Then vowing once more to never drink! haist!

Sappy Friday

Just saw a blog entry from a pastor in our church who just proposed to her celebrity girlfriend. I can't help swoon. I'm a sucker for engagement, wedding, and everything else that comes with these two. Maybe it's just the ideal in me. Regardless of all the failed marriages in our family, I choose not to be jaded.

I believe in happy (and sappy) endings. Why?

Because I know God is on my side. I know He is plotting a wonderful love story for me. A story far better than I have dreamed of. Call it cheesy, cornball, quixotic, pensive or whatever!

I call it faith!